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The whole story

I posted the funny part of Ian’s banking experience recently, but when he offered me some amusing but recycled jokes as blog content, I said I was holding out for original material.

The whole banking story, complete with amorous yearnings, arrived with permission to publish, granted as follows: “Anyhoo, Billy Boy, do what you wish with this.”



Last Sunday I was hungry. See?
by Ian McPhail

So I went into the bank of NS at the corner of Bingham and Kingston Road to get some dough out of the machine.

I got some dough alright, but the machine “ate”my bankbook.

So, after putting an “Out of order” sign on the machine, I returned the following day.

I explained to the teller what had happened. She, in turn, went to check the machine; returning to inform me that there was no chewed-up bankbook in either of the two machines.

Now I’m not casting aspersions on this girl, however, she seemed to be more interested on what was on her lap rather than helping me out. I’m sure it was an iPhone that held her attention.

Anyway, I thought, screw this. I thanked her, then headed for my home branch at Woodbine and Danforth. AND! I got the teller I’d been looking for!

You see, my major concern was this: On the first page of one’s bankbook is one’s account number, and let’s face it, there’s some pretty smart crooks out there.

Nancy, (a girl I’d love to date if I wasn’t as old as her grandfather) told me that there was no way anyone could access my bank account. No way, unless they had my password. (I was almost tempted to ask her, “If I give you my password would you go out with me?”)

Those mountains look familiar, too

Danica at Blue Mountain, laughing at the thought of Canadian winter. Say, I’ve seen those rock formations before, haven’t I?

Sure, enough. It’s in one of the slides from Peter Sever’s Round The World motorcycle ride. I wonder how many other sites Danica will also have seen. The opera house, certainly. Danica actually went to a performance of The Merry Widow and says the acoustics were fine, contrary to complaints I’ve read. Maybe it depends upon which stage. There are several in the Sydney landmark.

A reminder that we have summer, too.

Danica has been enjoying Sydney’s beach culture so much, she plans to take a renewed interest in our own this summer. After all, it’s within walking distance.

Back of a store at Queen and Lee. Artists Saretta Khan, Holly Allirellie, Gabrielle Hoole and Benjamin Nero

True, it will be a while until wading weather, but we can check out this year’s Winter Stations … February 19 to April 1. I know … brrrrrr!

Nest is one of the winning entries, by Ryerson University. Adrian Chiu, Arnel Espanol, Henry Mai

Seen and liked

The other day, I tried to describe this cartoon to Danica, via Facetime. It appears on Lynda Barry’s Tumblr. There are follow-up panels  but I find them less satisfying than this first one.

I love the little figure’s question, “What’s s’posta happen?” He reminds me of Curly’s immortal line …

Who hasn’t looked at a piece of art and wondered what it was about? Artists themselves can be very opaque if they try to explain their own work.

But what tickles me about the little character’s s’posta question is the implication that art is a sort of gadget that should deliver an effect. If it doesn’t, it might be busted, or a dud.

When artists DO use tried-and-true tricks to make something happen, don’t we feel conned? Maybe not. They don’t make tear-jerker movies or sentimental cards because there is no market.

Tricky bank shot

My friend Ian had his bank book eaten by the machine yesterday, so he went in today to get it back.

“I wrote an Out of Order message and put it on the machine, so the same thing wouldn’t happen to others,” said Ian.

Bank employee: “Well, if it had an Out of Order sign, you shouldn’t have used it.”

Feeding my inner geek

John Robert Colombo alerted me to the existence of the Foldscope, a cheap microscope for smartphones … but not cheap enough! JRC found that a USD $1.00 foldscope would cost CAD $54.00 because only the deluxe model was available.

Once I knew about the idea, I found many similar DIY projects online and liked one that recommended scavenging a lens from a laser pointer. I got one at my local Bargain store for 2 bucks and tried the lens on my iPad Mini camera. Not bad, really.

Brace yourselves for more of these, as I think of other things to enlarge and check to see if my iPad Pro camera does any better. I’d love to make a movie of microscopic wiggly things.

You can click-enlarge any of the slide show pictures, BTW.